Monthy Inventory

I certainly aced it on my first goal. I have lost the hoped-for 30 pounds, and added 13 to that loss. I have reached the point where certain things I once thought I couldn't possibly live without don't even sound good to me. Our oldest daughter is a vegetarian and I often wondered how she could possibly forgo any sort of flesh based protein. I would miss those things terribly. She not only doesn't miss them, they no longer sound good to her. Finally I understand how she feels about her food. (I always understood why, just not the how.) I have begun to reach that point with my forbidden foods -- flour and sugar. One of my FA friends was dealing with terrible stress a couple of weeks ago and decided that she would just allow herself one candy bar. She ate half of it and threw the other half away. It didn't taste good and made her feel slightly ill. I think it would have the same effect on me. I still think I miss bread, but might not like it if I actually tried it.


Storage isn't coming along very well. I got rid of some clear glass salad plates we never use and cleaned out the kitchen junk drawer, but that is all this month. Our AmVets bag isn't full enough on collection day. (Clothing that doesn't fit goes to FA fellows who are just a bit heavier than me.) We will work on storage harder at the end of the summer.


The wardrobe thing is better. Most of my tops still fit, but the pants are getting too big and I am fast eliminating anything I don't really like all that well any more. My closet has been reorganized. As a teen and a young adult I got rid of clothing that was no longer insy. Recently I didn't get rid of things unless they no longer fit. I wore things because they threw guilt trips on me "I'm tired of just hanging out here in the closet. I'm bored. You never take me anywhere. I think you prefer that hot pink top to me. What does she have that I don't?" Time to go back to the practice of my younger days. If it doesn't make me feel good it simply doesn't deserve room in my closet. I'm becoming a clothes cad.


My committments seem to be fitting me a little bit better. This FA program takes time and I'm not taking on a bunch of stuff that will interfere.


I'm proud of my weight loss and spiritual growth (spiritual is not the same thing as religious, by the way). I have a long way to go, but I think I know myself better. I'm still a bit fearful, but we are moving in the right direction. I'm finally sure I will get there.