Conversation in the Wee Hours

The Wondermouse: standing on my chest and speaking in a loud, raspy voice Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Me: Btflsktfp

WM: louder Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Neeeoowwww!

Me: rolling over and trying to hide under the pillow Gobacktosleep.

WM: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Me: I'm sleeping.

WM: placing a dainty paw firmly on my carotid artery Wake up! Wake up! I had a poo!

Me: opening one eye and looking at the clock It's three a.m. Go to sleep!

WM: licking my nose Wake up! Wake up! I had a poo! You need to get up and scoop it. Neeeoowww!

Me: smelling the evidence, bathroom is about seven feet from my side of the bed I'll do it in the morning. Go back to sleep. (side note -- I know this is not a good idea. She won't go into her covered box if there is a little gift by the door)

WM: butting me with her head Wake up! Wake up! Neow! I had a poo!

Needless to say, she didn't quit and I got up and tended to the litter box. Our boss lady is18. If she were a people, rather than a cat, we would be buying extra long twin sheets, picking a meal plan, and sending checks to the UC Regents. She would be old enough to take care of her own early morning toileting needs.