Our youngest daughter and her husband are trying to adopt. They can offer their child a loving family, supportive extended family, and a settled and secure lifestyle. They both adore children and children are drawn to them. The baby will have a little cousin just his or her age to grow up with. Nevertheless, they have yet to be chosen by a birth mother. It has been a difficult process.
Recently they have been talking to a woman named Stephanie Murray who lives in Indianapolis and gave them information about a baby she is due to have in May. Nancy and Ryan had sent her a check for rent and were getting set to go back to meet her this weekend. Our two families were letting themselves start to get excited. The agency had supposedly vetted the young woman and all was going to be just fine.
Today they found out that the woman has been far less than truthful with them and that she has engaged in very questionable behavior before. The cashier's check they had sent to help with rent has been stopped and the trip plans cancelled. They now have an airline credit.
They will be fine, but it will be hard for them to trust the next birth mother who contacts them. Two very trusting young people are that much closer to becoming cynics. I just hope the next person they talk to is perfect for them and realizes what a treasure they are.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Directions
Last year I blogged daily for Lent, hoping that the writing would become a habit. It didn't and I'm still rarely at Blogspot. Today I needed to write and, in checking in, got to read a few things from favorite bloggers I would have missed. I really do need to take time to do this for me.
We have rain outside and that gives me a perfect excuse to hole up and put together picture boards (I had planned on one and find that I will need three) for the reception we are hosting in my Mother's memory. She looks so impossibly young in the pictures from high school and early in her marriage. This is a very bittersweet task.
Last week was full of doctor appointments for Alex, and I joined him when he visited his not-one-but-two neurologists. There are specialists even within specialties. The new guy handles only "movement disorders". We had hoped that he would tell Alex (whose tremors are so bad that he often can't write checks and has a great deal of trouble eating) that he would be doing deep brain stimulation surgery soon and that this would seriously lessen the problem. Instead, he told us that he thinks Alex may have Parkinson's along with the Essential Tremor (a hard to diagnose situation). There are treatments and we are starting with a change in medication. It will take experimentation, observation, and patience to tell.
In the midst of all this, we are looking forward to welcoming a grandson in July. Lesley has reached the point where little Ignatz is moving around (just wait until the sparring matches start) and she cannot deny that pregnancy. As if this project were not riches enough, Nancy and Ryan are moving closer to adoption. They go to Indianapolis to meet with a prospective Birth Mom next week. We could possibly have two beautiful babies in our family before the end of this year. Now, when I look out my office window and see young children enjoying themselves at the playground I know that our own grandchildren will be out there with them before you know it.
We have rain outside and that gives me a perfect excuse to hole up and put together picture boards (I had planned on one and find that I will need three) for the reception we are hosting in my Mother's memory. She looks so impossibly young in the pictures from high school and early in her marriage. This is a very bittersweet task.
Last week was full of doctor appointments for Alex, and I joined him when he visited his not-one-but-two neurologists. There are specialists even within specialties. The new guy handles only "movement disorders". We had hoped that he would tell Alex (whose tremors are so bad that he often can't write checks and has a great deal of trouble eating) that he would be doing deep brain stimulation surgery soon and that this would seriously lessen the problem. Instead, he told us that he thinks Alex may have Parkinson's along with the Essential Tremor (a hard to diagnose situation). There are treatments and we are starting with a change in medication. It will take experimentation, observation, and patience to tell.
In the midst of all this, we are looking forward to welcoming a grandson in July. Lesley has reached the point where little Ignatz is moving around (just wait until the sparring matches start) and she cannot deny that pregnancy. As if this project were not riches enough, Nancy and Ryan are moving closer to adoption. They go to Indianapolis to meet with a prospective Birth Mom next week. We could possibly have two beautiful babies in our family before the end of this year. Now, when I look out my office window and see young children enjoying themselves at the playground I know that our own grandchildren will be out there with them before you know it.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Back to Writing
I haven't even checked my dashboard for ages, much less taken the time to write anything myself. I logged on and missed some of my favorites. I'm ready to get back to checking and putting some of my own thoughts down for public consumption.
My Mother died in January. She began to die some months ago, got serious about the process January 1 (start the New Year by making it your last) and finished on January 17. I'm glad she is gone. Her life had lost all of its joy this past year and I really do believe that she is somewhere better now. New Year's Day she found herself completely unable to stand. We hired a round-the-clock caregiver to assist the staff at Merrill Gardens and supplement the Hospice people. Lifting her from her chair to the wheelchair to handle various personal needs became a challenge and, about a week after her legs failed, she began to stay in bed almost full time. Within days she was on constant pain medication, then oxygen, then she simply left us. I was there much of the time, even spending the night at one point. My sister was also here the last week.
After her death the apartment had to be cleared, donations made, some items boxed and stored for later consideration, and various things cancelled and discontinued. I will get to those boxes eventually. Most of the business is now completed (Pam took care of the financial stuff) and I just have to get her tax materials ready for the last filing.
The memorial reception will be in early April in San Diego. After that it will truly be over and I will get to figure out how I feel about it all. I think I am fine. I had seen her decline over the past year -- very sharply since last summer -- and I did any mourning I may need long before she actually died. I'm grateful that we had one last lunch out in late December and that she saw Les and Tim and knew that another great grandchild is on the way. I wish she had been able to meet and know all of her great grandchildren, but that just wasn't in the cards.
My Mother died in January. She began to die some months ago, got serious about the process January 1 (start the New Year by making it your last) and finished on January 17. I'm glad she is gone. Her life had lost all of its joy this past year and I really do believe that she is somewhere better now. New Year's Day she found herself completely unable to stand. We hired a round-the-clock caregiver to assist the staff at Merrill Gardens and supplement the Hospice people. Lifting her from her chair to the wheelchair to handle various personal needs became a challenge and, about a week after her legs failed, she began to stay in bed almost full time. Within days she was on constant pain medication, then oxygen, then she simply left us. I was there much of the time, even spending the night at one point. My sister was also here the last week.
After her death the apartment had to be cleared, donations made, some items boxed and stored for later consideration, and various things cancelled and discontinued. I will get to those boxes eventually. Most of the business is now completed (Pam took care of the financial stuff) and I just have to get her tax materials ready for the last filing.
The memorial reception will be in early April in San Diego. After that it will truly be over and I will get to figure out how I feel about it all. I think I am fine. I had seen her decline over the past year -- very sharply since last summer -- and I did any mourning I may need long before she actually died. I'm grateful that we had one last lunch out in late December and that she saw Les and Tim and knew that another great grandchild is on the way. I wish she had been able to meet and know all of her great grandchildren, but that just wasn't in the cards.
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