Pam wrote the deposit check today and will meet with the manager of Bellmont Village to sign contracts early Monday afternoon. By Wednesday evening Mom should be the official resident of Room 210. It is a studio room, with the main room about 13 by 16 feet. There are two closets, one quite small (she can store her furs and ball gowns in that one) and one a more adequate size. She will still have to cull her wardrobe a bit. There is a wide hallway leading into the main area that includes a kitchenette (microwave, small fridge, single sink, and enough cupboards and drawers to store anything she really needs). Three meals are served daily in the dining room and the menu has a decent variety. Snacks are usually available in the "Bistro". When we took the first tour it was lunch time and the walkers were lined up at the entrance. There were so many I immediately thought of the bicycle racks at UC Davis. Once she gets her permanent walker we will have to decorate it so she can tell it from all of the other walkers. Maybe polka dots or racing stripes.
There are all sorts of amenities including: small lounge areas called parlors in each corridor, a lovely lobby called the "community room", a gathering place called the "town hall", a good sized beauty salon, a gym (we have been there twice and I don't think anyone really uses it), lovely library, laundry rooms, a pool, billiards and card-playing areas, computer room. Her room is just down a few doors from the library and she will probably be their best volunteer. The appointments are beautiful in all of the public areas. When we were there today several of the other inmates spoke with us and seemed very friendly and pleasant. One of them, Sidney, may have been hitting on mom. She was in a wheelchair for the tour and can't run just now. She has a small dog named Freddy next door and two Yorkies just down the hall. All in all it is really a beautiful place. I think she will love it. I just may move in across the hall from her.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
She is at Home
We sprung Mom this morning! She had been able to dress herself and walked -- slowly and with the help of a walker -- from the carport into the house. A caregiver arrived shortly after and helped us with the bits we felt uncertain about. She has been in pain and wanting a pain pill -- got one this afternoon. I am a bit concerned about addiction, she not so much. She feels that at her age addiction to pain pills isn't such a bad thing.
Tomorrow we go to look at Board and Care Homes and Assisted Living facilities. I think this will be hard for all of us. This is a major life change. She is probably taking it better than Pam and I. We are hoping to have her moved in by mid-week and fully settled by the time I leave on the 5th.
Wish us luck. We will need it.
Tomorrow we go to look at Board and Care Homes and Assisted Living facilities. I think this will be hard for all of us. This is a major life change. She is probably taking it better than Pam and I. We are hoping to have her moved in by mid-week and fully settled by the time I leave on the 5th.
Wish us luck. We will need it.
Monday, March 23, 2009
And Mom moves into a new phase of her life
Having spent the weekend visiting my mother, seeing her work very hard on her occupational therapy, and hearing her tell me (although I doubted this) that she expected to be driving again and would be able to take care of herself as soon as the hip healed -- I got a call from her this afternoon telling me that the doctor is sending her home on Thursday (that's less than three days -- yikes!), that he has told her she will no longer be able to live alone (the case manager had also told me that) and that she is now ready to move into assisted living or a board and care home. It was a stressful afternoon.
I will fly to San Diego Wednesday evening, Pam will meet me there. Care for the first few days is arranged. We will have a couple of 4 hour shifts to help with the stuff we really cannot do for her, and I will be staying for about 10 days. by that time we should have found an appropriate home/facility for her or have round-the-clock care in place for a few more weeks. The condo will have to be sold, and she is aware of that.
It is a hard thing when this stubborn, intelligent, very independent woman suddenly has to be dependent on other people to care for her, even help her dress and take care of basic everyday tasks. Her life suddenly changed. One fall is all it took. No warning. Just crash and you now have a different life.
We don't know what next month or next year will bring for her. She will accept and adjust to whatever life sends her way. She is a tough lady even among a bunch of old women who know quite well that the golden years aren't for sissies.
I will fly to San Diego Wednesday evening, Pam will meet me there. Care for the first few days is arranged. We will have a couple of 4 hour shifts to help with the stuff we really cannot do for her, and I will be staying for about 10 days. by that time we should have found an appropriate home/facility for her or have round-the-clock care in place for a few more weeks. The condo will have to be sold, and she is aware of that.
It is a hard thing when this stubborn, intelligent, very independent woman suddenly has to be dependent on other people to care for her, even help her dress and take care of basic everyday tasks. Her life suddenly changed. One fall is all it took. No warning. Just crash and you now have a different life.
We don't know what next month or next year will bring for her. She will accept and adjust to whatever life sends her way. She is a tough lady even among a bunch of old women who know quite well that the golden years aren't for sissies.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Mom and Meditation
I find that I really like my imposed half-hour quiet time in the morning. This morning I tried to connect with my dad again -- to think like him -- but it just wasn't happening. I do, however, find that it is this few minutes of peace that makes the rest of my day just a bit easier. I also realized that our left and right eyes not only don't see with exactly the same clarity, they see something different. Find a place where you have a vertical line looking out to a landscape. While keeping your head in the same place, first close your right eye and look with just your left, then reverse. You will see something a bit different with each eye. Everybody else probably already knew that, but it was something of a revelation for me.
I will be going to San Diego Friday and am meeting with Mom and a gentleman who will give us information about care options -- board and care home, assisted living, in-home care etc. -- so that we can decide what comes after the rehab facility. They will be reassessing Mom on Monday and it is possible that she will be released as early as sometime next week. Pam and I are guessing that she will opt for in-home care, at least for now. We have been warned that it is unlikely that she will ever quite be able to care for herself again. We aren't sure that she has been ready to admit this to herself, but that time has to come. I will go down for the first week she is at home or in a facility to be certain that things are going well. She is just fine mentally and is fiercely independent. She had been considering an independent living facility, just because she is having housekeeper issues and is tired of cooking. If she hadn't tripped on the sprinkler she would be going strong into her 90s I'm sure.
Last night's Soroptimist dinner (I was event chair) went off nicely. The grant recipients gave short but informative speeches, the food was just fine, the cake was delicious (most of this is heresay, nothing edible was in keeping with my food plan). One silly little glitch -- after telling them three times that our theme was "The Givin' of the Green" and we would have St. Pat's centerpieces, they used blue napkins. It was an interesting contrast to the decorations.
I will be going to San Diego Friday and am meeting with Mom and a gentleman who will give us information about care options -- board and care home, assisted living, in-home care etc. -- so that we can decide what comes after the rehab facility. They will be reassessing Mom on Monday and it is possible that she will be released as early as sometime next week. Pam and I are guessing that she will opt for in-home care, at least for now. We have been warned that it is unlikely that she will ever quite be able to care for herself again. We aren't sure that she has been ready to admit this to herself, but that time has to come. I will go down for the first week she is at home or in a facility to be certain that things are going well. She is just fine mentally and is fiercely independent. She had been considering an independent living facility, just because she is having housekeeper issues and is tired of cooking. If she hadn't tripped on the sprinkler she would be going strong into her 90s I'm sure.
Last night's Soroptimist dinner (I was event chair) went off nicely. The grant recipients gave short but informative speeches, the food was just fine, the cake was delicious (most of this is heresay, nothing edible was in keeping with my food plan). One silly little glitch -- after telling them three times that our theme was "The Givin' of the Green" and we would have St. Pat's centerpieces, they used blue napkins. It was an interesting contrast to the decorations.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sunrise
Daylight Savings Time -- It's bloody dark when I get up in the morning. In my food program I get call my sponsor at 6:30 a.m., then meditate/have quiet time for half an hour. It's a chance to focus and get my thoughts straight before starting my day. At 6:45 it is dark outside. There is a pool of light around the street light at the edge of our front lawn, but it is dark. By the time I'm ready to leave my thinking spot, half an hour later, it is light. It's kind of grey, but light nevertheless. I can start to hear the early walkers chatting. One of my neighbors has left for work.
This is not a part of the day I have been particularly familiar with the last few years. Midnight. Yup. We're buds. 6:30 a.m. -- not so much. The downside? It is now 9:30 and I'm ready to hit the bed.
By the way -- the yogurt is becoming quite palatable and tonight's dinner (salmon and steamed spinach plus a salad) was really great. The food is tasting better and better. I just wish I could get something similar in restaurants.
This is not a part of the day I have been particularly familiar with the last few years. Midnight. Yup. We're buds. 6:30 a.m. -- not so much. The downside? It is now 9:30 and I'm ready to hit the bed.
By the way -- the yogurt is becoming quite palatable and tonight's dinner (salmon and steamed spinach plus a salad) was really great. The food is tasting better and better. I just wish I could get something similar in restaurants.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Granny Update
Mom has moved to Villa Pomerado (the rehab center) and is settling in. She has had some digestive upsets and food doesn't always sound as good as it might. They are trying to get her up and keep her in a wheelchair all day. Yesterday that didn't work so well. When her tummy is giving her whirlies she can't eat, of course, and not eating doesn't help.
She seems to really like the therapist who is working with her and the nurses are all nice. Pam took them donuts to say "Thank you" and predispose them to take extra care of the lady in 245C. She also got a roommie yesterday and the new lady seems pleasant (so she reported last night). Her friends from the library and the pinochle group are indeed good friends and are coming to see her regularly. Things are going as well as can be expected if you are 88 and just fell and broke yourself. Little old ladies simply don't heal as well as younger folk.
As for my eating plan, I'm doing just fine. The food has been a non-issue so far. Girl Scout cookies arrived yesterday and I'm not even finding them tempting. The simple, basic diet with very specific guidelines sounds a bit harsh to outsiders, but it is healthful, nutritious, and easy to follow. No journaling required for now. Some of the things I eat are quite good, others rather bland, but that is a normal diet. The prayer and meditation segments work very well for me. I could really use an additional imposed quiet time each day right now. The hardest part, for me, is making outreach calls. You are asked to call and connect with three other FA members each day. You can talk about the program with them, or life in general, and sometimes just say "hi" and "goodbye". Oh, yes, I still don't much care for the plain non-fat yogurt. I just eat it really fast and try not to really taste it. It's not as bad as coffee, raw onions, or cherry flavored cough drops, but it certainly isn't good. If it is meant to make me stop thinking of food as a reward, it's working.
She seems to really like the therapist who is working with her and the nurses are all nice. Pam took them donuts to say "Thank you" and predispose them to take extra care of the lady in 245C. She also got a roommie yesterday and the new lady seems pleasant (so she reported last night). Her friends from the library and the pinochle group are indeed good friends and are coming to see her regularly. Things are going as well as can be expected if you are 88 and just fell and broke yourself. Little old ladies simply don't heal as well as younger folk.
As for my eating plan, I'm doing just fine. The food has been a non-issue so far. Girl Scout cookies arrived yesterday and I'm not even finding them tempting. The simple, basic diet with very specific guidelines sounds a bit harsh to outsiders, but it is healthful, nutritious, and easy to follow. No journaling required for now. Some of the things I eat are quite good, others rather bland, but that is a normal diet. The prayer and meditation segments work very well for me. I could really use an additional imposed quiet time each day right now. The hardest part, for me, is making outreach calls. You are asked to call and connect with three other FA members each day. You can talk about the program with them, or life in general, and sometimes just say "hi" and "goodbye". Oh, yes, I still don't much care for the plain non-fat yogurt. I just eat it really fast and try not to really taste it. It's not as bad as coffee, raw onions, or cherry flavored cough drops, but it certainly isn't good. If it is meant to make me stop thinking of food as a reward, it's working.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Grandma took a tumble
My mother lives in a condo in a senior citizens community. In her little three condo unit she is perhaps the youngest (at 88) and by far the most able. As a result, she was bringing in the trash cans Tuesday late afternoon when she tripped over a sprinkler head and went down onto the sidewalk. Some other ladies were walking by about that time and got her help soon (they were not in such great shape that they could lift her, and that may be a good thing). She is currently in Kaiser hospital and had surgery Thursday to place a pin in the fractured area of what I gather is her upper leg, near the hip bone. From Kaiser she will go to a rehab faclity TBA. After that is up to her. Her surgeon has some questions about whether she will be able to live independently when she is released from hospital and rehab.
We all reach this point when we really do need some help. The rather independent women in my family have trouble facing the fact that we can no longer do everything ourselves. Mom did get one of those button things that keep you safe when you are in your own home. Unfortunately, she was just far enough away that she was out of range of the receiver. Maybe they just need softer sidewalks in neighborhoods meant for seniors.
We all reach this point when we really do need some help. The rather independent women in my family have trouble facing the fact that we can no longer do everything ourselves. Mom did get one of those button things that keep you safe when you are in your own home. Unfortunately, she was just far enough away that she was out of range of the receiver. Maybe they just need softer sidewalks in neighborhoods meant for seniors.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
My Quiet Place
I really like the situation of our house. It certainly isn't a fancy house, but it is oh so comfortable in a way that only a place that has been lived in by adults and children and pets for 30 years can be. It was never really decorated, it has just evolved. (and, yes, you would guess that a decorator had no hand in it)
From the office window I see a playground (maybe 100 feet from the window) where the neighborhood moms and child-caring grannies gather and the younger children play. Just outside the window -- six feet away, in the park -- is a tree in full bloom. Right now it wears lacy white flowers, in about 10 days it will suddenly be all pale green leaves. As I write this, rain has begun to descend by the bucketful. The park border plants used to grow up and hide our home from view. Now the weekend work gang keeps them cut back. I love to watch the walkers, and the dogs, and the bike riders, and the general activity. The Red Prince also likes to join me in this room. He sits in the window and takes in the action. Secure in the protection offered by a pane of glass, he can observe the world at large and they can notice that he is truly a beautiful cat.
Our kitchen and family room look onto a rather wild and woolly back yard. It's a bit overgrown, but really does look like woodland. The room itself is just as wild and woolly. This is where we do most of our living. There are often young cats careening off the walls and papers and books-in-the-process all over the place. I try to keep the mess contained, but never seem to succeed.
Our living room, however, has become my quiet place. It stays relatively clean and neat. The uncurtained view is to the little entry garden -- currently camellias, soon to be azaleas, then the hydrangea will take over -- and on out to the park. One end of the living room has been arranged to create a small formal parlor. The furniture is all hand-me-down with a Victorian feel. It is where many of the things I most treasure just for their beauty live. For most of the time we have lived in this house it has been a room used only for guests. However, I use this room for my daily meditation now. I sit on the loveseat, or one of the chairs, and find peace. I can't imagine why I haven't just come there more in the past. It was while sitting there this morning that it came to me how much I like where I live.
We all need to have a quiet place in our lives. Even if it is just a chair in the corner of the bedroom, it can be our escape.
From the office window I see a playground (maybe 100 feet from the window) where the neighborhood moms and child-caring grannies gather and the younger children play. Just outside the window -- six feet away, in the park -- is a tree in full bloom. Right now it wears lacy white flowers, in about 10 days it will suddenly be all pale green leaves. As I write this, rain has begun to descend by the bucketful. The park border plants used to grow up and hide our home from view. Now the weekend work gang keeps them cut back. I love to watch the walkers, and the dogs, and the bike riders, and the general activity. The Red Prince also likes to join me in this room. He sits in the window and takes in the action. Secure in the protection offered by a pane of glass, he can observe the world at large and they can notice that he is truly a beautiful cat.
Our kitchen and family room look onto a rather wild and woolly back yard. It's a bit overgrown, but really does look like woodland. The room itself is just as wild and woolly. This is where we do most of our living. There are often young cats careening off the walls and papers and books-in-the-process all over the place. I try to keep the mess contained, but never seem to succeed.
Our living room, however, has become my quiet place. It stays relatively clean and neat. The uncurtained view is to the little entry garden -- currently camellias, soon to be azaleas, then the hydrangea will take over -- and on out to the park. One end of the living room has been arranged to create a small formal parlor. The furniture is all hand-me-down with a Victorian feel. It is where many of the things I most treasure just for their beauty live. For most of the time we have lived in this house it has been a room used only for guests. However, I use this room for my daily meditation now. I sit on the loveseat, or one of the chairs, and find peace. I can't imagine why I haven't just come there more in the past. It was while sitting there this morning that it came to me how much I like where I live.
We all need to have a quiet place in our lives. Even if it is just a chair in the corner of the bedroom, it can be our escape.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Success!
Early in the morning for me to be blogging, but I'm feeling very triumphant.
We weigh ourselves first thing in the morning on the first of the month. You urinate first, strip down to your nudie cutie, and step onto your accurate digital scale. And it tells you that you have lost five pounds since you started the program. Whoo hoo! Of course, this is when I still need to lose a good bit, and part of it is water weight, yada yada yada. The weight loss will decline as I get closer to what I really should weigh, but this was just a great reaffirmation that my decision to do this was a good one.
I also attended a great meeting yesterday morning. The speaker is not a religious person and has trouble/issues with the spiritual side of the program. Even the meditation is just not very effective for her and she does not believe in a higher power (not even mother nature, apparently). The program, however has worked very well for her and she has lost her weight and kept it off for some time. She is very funny and kept us laughing all through her talk. It is amazing how inspirational a stand-up comic can be.
For those of us who have less than 50 pounds to lose, the people who have lost 100 or more pounds are just beyond belief. Even though the spiritual side of the program seems to be very good for me -- and I'm off to my corner to meditate as soon as I sign off -- it is nice to know that if some part does not work for you, the overall program still can. It is also nice to hear from some of the people I call fairly regularly, that when I reach maintenance goal some foods I like will be added back in. No, not brownies. I'm having more than enough food right now (it was hard to finish everything last night) but I am also looking forward to the summer farmers' market where I can get fabulous veggies and fruits.
We weigh ourselves first thing in the morning on the first of the month. You urinate first, strip down to your nudie cutie, and step onto your accurate digital scale. And it tells you that you have lost five pounds since you started the program. Whoo hoo! Of course, this is when I still need to lose a good bit, and part of it is water weight, yada yada yada. The weight loss will decline as I get closer to what I really should weigh, but this was just a great reaffirmation that my decision to do this was a good one.
I also attended a great meeting yesterday morning. The speaker is not a religious person and has trouble/issues with the spiritual side of the program. Even the meditation is just not very effective for her and she does not believe in a higher power (not even mother nature, apparently). The program, however has worked very well for her and she has lost her weight and kept it off for some time. She is very funny and kept us laughing all through her talk. It is amazing how inspirational a stand-up comic can be.
For those of us who have less than 50 pounds to lose, the people who have lost 100 or more pounds are just beyond belief. Even though the spiritual side of the program seems to be very good for me -- and I'm off to my corner to meditate as soon as I sign off -- it is nice to know that if some part does not work for you, the overall program still can. It is also nice to hear from some of the people I call fairly regularly, that when I reach maintenance goal some foods I like will be added back in. No, not brownies. I'm having more than enough food right now (it was hard to finish everything last night) but I am also looking forward to the summer farmers' market where I can get fabulous veggies and fruits.
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