Retirement

A friend of Alex's called this afternoon and, in the absence of my hubby, we chatted for a few minutes. Our talk got me thinking about my original concept of retirement and the reality of the past six years. The economy is having some effect on how we spend these golden years but it hasn't really changed the basics.

I had assumed that at some point we would decide to move back to Southern California to be closer to family. I didn't really think our kids would be here in Sacramento. I thought we would buy a condo, have one cat that was car-trained or one small dog, take a trip or two each year, have lovely dinner parties, and have lunch once a week with friends -- probably at Anthony's. We always try to eat at Anthony's when we are in San Diego and there have always been grey-haired couples and groups enjoying their meal and the view of the water (San Diego Bay at the Embarcadero or the pond at Grossmont). They look like people who have known one another for years and feel comfortable together. Like the dresses in that Tide commercial, our outer selves tend to droop and fade through the years. It's nice to sometimes spend time with folks who remember the younger us and the glory days of our misspent youth.

The reality, of course, is much different. We will probably be here taking care of this four-bedroom house with more-than-sufficient yard until we are too old to live alone. We have five pet cats (although the Wondermouse is very, very old) and a nice little feral colony in the back yard. We really don't travel that much -- logistics, you know. But most of all, we rarely have lunch or whatever with old friends. We go to Tower Cafe or Jack's Urban Eats or Johnny Rockets for breakfast or lunch, but it is just the two of us. I have dear and wonderful girlfriends here in Sacramento whose laughter helps keep me sane. I have lunch with my Curves homegirls or Soroptimist Tea Divas every couple of weeks, but the two of us don't meet friends for lunch. Tom and Darlene are up near Grass Valley, but we don't see them often enough. We meet couples friends for a meal or an evening mostly when we go to San Diego.

I would change very little about my life now. Lesley and Tim would be closer. I'd still prefer a condo or a patio home. And our old friends would be closer.

We did meet people at Anthony's twice when we were down in San Diego last November, by the way. It was just as nice as I always thought it would be.