Wednesday, February 18, 2009

First Food Addict's meeting

I attended my very first meeting last night of the 12-step program I hope will help me build a healthier relationship with food. Today was the first day without wheat, sugar -- or peanut butter. It encourages fresh food, with frozen the second choice. It also offers a great deal of support and a strong dose of faith.

Oddly enough, though I do pray, and regularly, I don't pray for myself. Somehow that has always seemed selfish. This program asks that I turn my food issues over to a higher power. It also asks that I meditate, attend meetings regularly, and reach out to other people. The reaching out to people I don't yet know is going to be the hardest part at first (along with sticking to my food plan in social situations). I also need to find a sponsor. I spoke to one member who is accepting one sponsee this afternoon, but there are three people seeking the spot. I should have an answer soon. She needs to decide who is the best fit for her. I will be attending another meeting tomorrow, and one on Saturday.

Anyway, I followed the plan -- as I understand it -- today and don't feel hungry. Now I need to move to the spiritual and service part of the plan.

I don't really want to be thin -- just a healthy weight that results in better numbers when they check my blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. I don't want to think about food, I just want to automatically eat correctly.

I'm working to learn to eat what I need, not what I have learned to want. I'm also hoping to become a better, happier person while I am at it.

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