Back to Writing

I haven't even checked my dashboard for ages, much less taken the time to write anything myself. I logged on and missed some of my favorites. I'm ready to get back to checking and putting some of my own thoughts down for public consumption.

My Mother died in January. She began to die some months ago, got serious about the process January 1 (start the New Year by making it your last) and finished on January 17. I'm glad she is gone. Her life had lost all of its joy this past year and I really do believe that she is somewhere better now. New Year's Day she found herself completely unable to stand. We hired a round-the-clock caregiver to assist the staff at Merrill Gardens and supplement the Hospice people. Lifting her from her chair to the wheelchair to handle various personal needs became a challenge and, about a week after her legs failed, she began to stay in bed almost full time. Within days she was on constant pain medication, then oxygen, then she simply left us. I was there much of the time, even spending the night at one point. My sister was also here the last week.

After her death the apartment had to be cleared, donations made, some items boxed and stored for later consideration, and various things cancelled and discontinued. I will get to those boxes eventually. Most of the business is now completed (Pam took care of the financial stuff) and I just have to get her tax materials ready for the last filing.

The memorial reception will be in early April in San Diego. After that it will truly be over and I will get to figure out how I feel about it all. I think I am fine. I had seen her decline over the past year -- very sharply since last summer -- and I did any mourning I may need long before she actually died. I'm grateful that we had one last lunch out in late December and that she saw Les and Tim and knew that another great grandchild is on the way. I wish she had been able to meet and know all of her great grandchildren, but that just wasn't in the cards.