A New Beginning

New year's Day is like a clean sheet of paper, or a clean room -- full of possibilities.

I found that I met only one of my goals for 2009 (albeit one that will probably give me more years to meet goals) and I'm hoping the 2010 goals are more realistic. One thing not mentioned in my profile is that my 12-step program involves a lot of meditation and self-searching. Sometimes it is very painful. Lately I have been dealing with some hard realizations and one of my tasks is simply to get over them. The past is the past and we need to give up old hurts and resentments and regrets. We can't change what we did or didn't do and we need not to beat ourselves up over things that happened years ago -- not even things that happened yesterday. This sounds like a downer. It isn't really. Bringing some of "our stuff" to the surface helps us deal with it so that it is no longer coloring everything that happens in our lives.

I start this year in much better health than last year with all of my doctor numbers in the healthy range. I'm happier with my appearance, though that wasn't the motivator for the weight loss. I have begun the journey of self-discovery. I am asking to change certain habits and instincts. I'm hoping to be of use in 2009. I want to bring my home to the physical state that ensures if anything happens to me my daughters will not have a mess to clear.

There are all of those possibilities out there. I just need to learn to reach out and take them.